loneliness

My friend came to see us this past weekend. I was so happy to spend time with her, talking about life and showing her around. We went to the ocean, we took her to look at the tsunami-hit areas, the monuments and the reconstruction. When she left I felt awful. Then I realized much of what I have been feeling these past few months has been loneliness. When I'm with a friend I feel wonderful, all the bad feelings go away. How could I not recognize such a simple emotion? Perhaps because it made itself manifest in so many unrecognizable ways. It is the most comforting thing to be with a friend that you are not a "foreigner" to, because that is the feeling we must live with here day in and day out, being a foreigner. Looking strange, acting strange, eating strange food, speaking a strange language, probably even smelling strange. To their credit, our Thai friends and acquaintances work hard to make us feel welcome, and we, too, work hard to do things "the Thai way." Nevertheless, Caucasians are strange beasts here.