Difficult

It has been difficult to write since the death of my best friend, Wendi L. I miss her so much, and the easier days are the days I forget that she is gone. Sometimes I dream about her. In my last dream she was healthy and whole again, not thin like she was when she was on chemotherapy. She told us all she was ready to die the day before she passed, but we were not ready, those of us who loved her. I don't know if I felt more grief or more anger, even in the year and a half of knowing she had terminal cancer, we all believed, herself included, that she would be the exceptional statistic. Instead, she died earlier than the 2 years the doctors gave her.

My world is not as bright and beautiful.

Without you, Wendi, life is different and there is this pain that just sits there somewhere deep in me. I love you, I miss you so much, I still don't want to believe you are gone.