Body Language

Body language and facial expressions are so important in Thailand they often trump words as to what is being communicated and believed about a person. 
Courtesy and respect is communicated not merely by words, but how one holds the body while talking, or the expression on the face while listening to the Thai speaker. I think it is helpful to think of proper etiquette as being gentle, slow, and graceful. Abrupt movements or careless, flinging hand movements can communicate aggression and lack of respect.
Being sensitive to subtle body language and indirect replies will also help to avoid confusion and misunderstandings.
For example, it is difficult for a Thai to say no, so their "no" may be communicated by a hesitant look on their face even as they say "yes". A tensing of their face and body may communicate displeasure or disagreement, even as they give a tight smile and agree with you verbally. Making an effort to watch Thais interact with elders, strangers and other respected persons is invaluable to learn social skills.
In any group, rank is respected and the eldest is revered.  Showing respect for the eldest means not towering over them, but when in proximity to them, try to be on the same level.  What this means is when they sit, you sit too, or even squat next to them if there is no chair.  When you must pass by them, hunch over if you pass in front of them or try to pass in back of them.  Never, never step over them or any of their body parts.  (Never step over any one's body parts, if you can help it, and if you must, apologize first.)
In general foreigners appear large, awkward and aggressive to Thais. Standing arms akimbo is aggressive, pointing is rude and aggressive. Much of our enculturated love of independence and freedom of expression is expressed in how we hold ourselves, and is often interpreted by Thais as aggressive and arrogant. We were also told to have good posture and never hunch over, which is exactly what we must do in Thailand to communicate respect at certain times. Displays of emotion can be seen as immature, even positive emotion. To unlearn is not easy and can be quite humbling, but the benefits are enormous in terms of relationship building. When they see the effort we are making to be courteous, respectful and sensitive to their culture, the Thais will often express their pleasure. They will be more willing to spend time with us and be a real friend. They will not be embarrassed to bring us to social functions because they know we will not act like a neanderthal. With time some of these social graces can be eased with good friends, but it is always better to err on the courteous side than offend your friend.

Comments

Todd Wylie said…
That was fascinating. I can't think of a harder adjustment socially than American to Thai.

Thank you for sharing this. Running a sales team, it's easy to imagine how our typical style even light by our standards would be overwhelmingly rude to someone who is Thai.
Oceanicthai said…
Thank you, Todd, for your kind and encouraging comment!

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