The Art of the Thai "Wai"
The Thai “wai” is so much more than a casual greeting here in Thailand. It means more than hello or goodbye; it also expresses honor, respect, and thanks. It is a gesture that reveals Thai values and attitudes. It can convey what might remain unspoken but deeply felt. Sometimes even hidden feelings can be expressed in a “wai,” as well as underlying attitudes. There is no equivalent that I know of in the Western world to the Thai “wai.” Slights are readily read into a sloppy or a half “wai” from one person to another, and it can even cause loss of face. As your language progresses, you will also be expected to understand the implications of your “wai.” In earlier years, in my ignorance, even as I was attempting to be sensitive, I have inadvertently offended Thai people. These are not issues that can be discussed easily with the offended or offending person because of the careful avoidance of confrontation in Thailand.
A “wai” should be slow and graceful if at all possible. Fast, sloppy wais can convey a negative message. One “wai” for an initial greeting per person is all that is needed for the duration of the day. When attending an event, be sure to wai every friend and acquaintance as well as those with high status or age in the group. When you leave an event, you can say goodbye with a personal wai to your friends and then to everyone with a kind of general wai for the whole group, kind of swinging it around to include everyone. Use the honoring “wai” with your fingertips to the nose and slight bow of your head and shoulders.
Persons of high social status should be wai-ed first. Head schoolmasters, a governor, a business owner, people of rank in the government or community should be wai-ed immediately with an honoring wai when we come within eye-meeting proximity of them. Use the honoring wai again, bringing the fingertips up to the nose with a slight bowing of the head and shoulders down toward the fingertips.
Wai-ing people providing a service, such as the cashier at the store, shopkeepers, restaurant workers, housekeepers and so on is generally not done. That said, sometimes I see people returning the wai the service person gives them, or at least nodding in acknowledgement of the wai. Adults should not wai children, but if a child or student wais you first, you can give a low wai at your chest, while keeping your head and shoulders erect, to acknowledge their wai.
When receiving a gift, always wai before you take the gift. It is considered bad manners and I believe you look kind of ungrateful and greedy if you don’t show your thanks with a wai first before you reach for the gift.
The lower “wai,” sloppy, fast wais, or too many one-handed “wais” can convey lack of respect and actually cause the receiver of such a wai to lose face if done in front of others. That said, the giver of such a wai might simply be distracted, in a bad mood, or carrying things. If you think you have hurt someone’s feelings, just look for the next opportunity to give a better wai and they will feel your good intentions. Be sure to return wais even with things in your hands and arms, be it a phone or shopping bags, just do your best.
When introduced at church or at an event, wai with the honoring wai, you can swing this one around as well to include everyone, and give a big cheesy smile if you like.
There is one kind of fast, one-handed wai that students give to royalty when accepting their college diplomas. There are other kinds of wais reserved for royalty or giving honor to sacred objects, making an offering to monks, or even parents on certain occasions, but I have not included them here since as foreigners we will probably not be practicing these kinds of wais.
A “wai” should be slow and graceful if at all possible. Fast, sloppy wais can convey a negative message. One “wai” for an initial greeting per person is all that is needed for the duration of the day. When attending an event, be sure to wai every friend and acquaintance as well as those with high status or age in the group. When you leave an event, you can say goodbye with a personal wai to your friends and then to everyone with a kind of general wai for the whole group, kind of swinging it around to include everyone. Use the honoring “wai” with your fingertips to the nose and slight bow of your head and shoulders.
Persons of high social status should be wai-ed first. Head schoolmasters, a governor, a business owner, people of rank in the government or community should be wai-ed immediately with an honoring wai when we come within eye-meeting proximity of them. Use the honoring wai again, bringing the fingertips up to the nose with a slight bowing of the head and shoulders down toward the fingertips.
Wai-ing people providing a service, such as the cashier at the store, shopkeepers, restaurant workers, housekeepers and so on is generally not done. That said, sometimes I see people returning the wai the service person gives them, or at least nodding in acknowledgement of the wai. Adults should not wai children, but if a child or student wais you first, you can give a low wai at your chest, while keeping your head and shoulders erect, to acknowledge their wai.
When receiving a gift, always wai before you take the gift. It is considered bad manners and I believe you look kind of ungrateful and greedy if you don’t show your thanks with a wai first before you reach for the gift.
The lower “wai,” sloppy, fast wais, or too many one-handed “wais” can convey lack of respect and actually cause the receiver of such a wai to lose face if done in front of others. That said, the giver of such a wai might simply be distracted, in a bad mood, or carrying things. If you think you have hurt someone’s feelings, just look for the next opportunity to give a better wai and they will feel your good intentions. Be sure to return wais even with things in your hands and arms, be it a phone or shopping bags, just do your best.
When introduced at church or at an event, wai with the honoring wai, you can swing this one around as well to include everyone, and give a big cheesy smile if you like.
There is one kind of fast, one-handed wai that students give to royalty when accepting their college diplomas. There are other kinds of wais reserved for royalty or giving honor to sacred objects, making an offering to monks, or even parents on certain occasions, but I have not included them here since as foreigners we will probably not be practicing these kinds of wais.
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