Hospitality in Thailand

If you have ever been a guest at a social gathering or at someone’s home in Thailand you were probably impressed with their incredible hospitality and ability to make you feel like a VIP. As soon as you show up they hurry to greet you and take care of you. Perhaps you noticed that they made sure you had a refreshing drink and refilled it for you several times. Perhaps you also noticed they made sure you had a comfortable place to sit and fed you freshly prepared or opened snacks. If they had food, you were sure to notice that they served you and probably served you first, making sure you had a good portion of the best meats or shrimp. They were extremely attentive, asked questions about you, listened to all you had to say, complimented you, and made you feel like, well, royalty. For a westerner, it is truly an amazing experience. The Thais know how to treat you like a superstar!
On the flip side, as we take those steps to become friends with real Thai adults, we must also learn how to treat them well. Although much is forgiven the ignorant foreigner, our social sins of omission are multitude and feelings do get hurt. So it is good to try hard to make our Thai guests feel important as well.
If you have Thai guests coming to your home, meet them at the gate, and to do so you must be on the alert for their arrival. Waiting for your guests in your house until they are knocking on your door signals that you are not terribly thrilled with their visit. Greet them with giant smiles and wais, this is a moment to show some foreign emoting.
As soon as they are in your home, show them a nice comfortable place to sit, but if you have furniture, on a high place, not a low place like a cushion on the floor. Low placement conveys low social standing. Honor them with the seat of honor.
Bring them a refreshing drink. Ask them some questions about their families, their work, their lives. Bring some snacks! Have an attractive bowl or platter for your snacks and present them carefully and slowly right in front of your guest, not fast and sloppily. Snacks must be either freshly prepared, or if in a bag, opened in front of them with scissors. This is to convey you are not giving them leftovers. Give them all the snack, not just a little bowlful, even if it is a big bag of candy. Even chips should be put in a nice container, not left in the bag for them to dig through. Tissues and little forks or toothpicks are a must for fruit and other messy finger foods. Finger foods should be cut into bite-sized pieces. To be exceptionally polite, when you hand them their drink with your right hand, gently support your elbow with your left hand.
If you have them over for a meal, be sure to serve them first, and give them the choicest pieces of what you have to offer. Be attentive! When their drink runs out, refill it, when their plate is empty, give them more. When they look around frantically, find out what they need, or even better yet, anticipate what it is they need and bring it to them, like tissues. Notice what they like and don’t like and try to remember. These are friendship builders.
Ask them many questions and listen attentively to their answers. Look them in the eyes and smile. If you see something to compliment, say it. When they leave your house they will feel that you value them and their friendship is important to you.

Comments

Erin S. said…
Wendy, I really need to read these whenever I get ready to move back to Thailand! I remember somewhere along the way learning that even the word "leftovers" is almost never to be used because it conveys such lack of care for the person who will eat it. So different from my practical, egalitarian American way of thinking!
Oceanicthai said…
Thank you, Erin!
Alina said…
Your blog us becoming a must-read for me. Thank you, W!

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